Managing Relationships

When relationships become a problem, that kind of problem can demand attention in your life, blocking out all else. To save your sanity, and your relationships, you can learn how to approach relationships problems and conversations productively.

There are a few important factors that come up in relationships.

• Beliefs – We are all taught from an early age how our relationships are supposed to progress. When they don’t live up to our expectations, the pain can be intense. You can either end the relationship or change your expectations. To let go of expectations, you can learn to address your beliefs about how this relationship is supposed go.
• Needs – We often enter into relationships so that we can have our needs fulfilled by those relationships. When the other person stumbles, failing to come through to fulfill our needs, we feel the pain immediately and we often panic. To manage unmet needs, you can learn to identify those needs and find diverse ways to fulfill them when your primary source of need fulfillment takes a hiatus.
• Requests – When we want something to change, it’s common to approach the person who can help with a plea that includes a list of reasons defending what you want. Or worse, your plea could begin and end with a list of complaints about how things aren’t going the way you want them to go. You can learn to make requests (not demands) and be flexible about how the other person will go about fulfilling your request.

To find peace in your relationships, you will have to stop aiming for peace. Instead, aim for clear communication and peace will come as a result of that communication. MindSET Your Manners, Chapter 3: Perspective Shift, talks about the necessary steps you’ll have to take before you can communicate clearly with someone who sees things differently than you do.